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Coruña British International School

Slow education

We live in a society of immediacy, of haste, of speed. We live for and to reach our destination, but it seems that we have forgotten that enjoying the journey is what should come first. In today's fast-paced world, 'slow education' has emerged as an alternative; an educational concept that aims to give back to our children the advantages of forgetting about the goal and enjoying the journey.

We live in a society of immediacy, of haste, of speed. We live for and to reach our destination, but it seems that we have forgotten that enjoying the journey is what should come first. In today's fast-paced world, 'slow education' has emerged as an alternative; an educational concept that aims to give back to our children the advantages of forgetting about the goal and enjoying the journey.

Slow education for the age of haste

The teacher Gianfranco Zavalloni, author of the book 'The pedagogy of the snail. For a slow and non-violent school' defines slow education as "an educational proposal where didactic strategies for slowing down are proposed, which we metaphorically call the pedagogy of the snail".

And why do we call it slow education? Because it is largely responsible for the calm education that we carry out at Coruña British International School and which should continue to be present in all homes. To educate calmly, families need to be aware that they are providing a little person with the necessary tools to live in the world, a person who would not be able to do so on their own. And, in order to do this correctly, they should bear in mind that haste is the greatest enemy.

How to educate calmly?

Calm education is also closely related to Positive Education: an educational methodology that provides techniques for adults to get involved in a child’s education by helping them learn social and life skills in a way that is respectful and encouraging for them and for us. Calm education, like Positive Discipline, teaches adults to use kindness and firmness at the same time. It advocates, above all, an education free of punishment, shouting, threats or overly rigid limits. Instead, it provides the tools for parents to know how to establish bonds of mutual respect with their child without resorting to any of these negative tools for their child's development.

In order to know how to educate calmly, it is essential for adults to be calm and at peace with themselves and their surroundings. It is of little or no use trying to transmit a peace to our children that they do not see in us. Children will only feel upset.

Furthermore, it is vitally important to understand that shouting and punishments at home must become a thing of the past. "Shouting and punishments may temporarily make your children listen to you, but they do not produce lasting changes in children's behaviour; that is why parents who shout and punish have the feeling that they have to repeat things over and over again," says neuropsychologist Álvaro Bilbao on his website. In fact, he says that if it worked, the children who were yelled at and punished the most would be the ones who behaved the best, and this is not usually the case.

In addition to the above explanation, we can find the explanation that children need to understand why we are correcting them. If we shout 'don't paint the wall' at them, they will stop doing it because we will scare them and they will not want to make us feel bad, but beyond that they will not understand why they should not do it. However, if we crouch down to their level and explain to them, in a language adapted to their age and calmly, that walls get dirty and then it takes a lot of work to get the paint off them, they may never do it again.

In calm education we hear the expression 'validating emotions' a lot, but what does this mean? “Validating emotions is to allow and accept the emotions that the other person or ourselves are feeling. Without making value judgements, without trying to repress them", says Isabel Cuesta, certified in Positive Discipline. In order to validate our children's emotions, something that in her opinion we do too little of, we have to eliminate from our vocabulary expressions such as:

- Don't cry

- It's OK

- That silly thing has made you sad?

- Don't get angry

- Don't be afraid

- Don't be like that, it's not a big deal.

To validate emotions, Isabel says that all you have to do is put yourself in the child's shoes and understand what it means to them what is going on.

Quality time, the key to calm education

In order to be able to follow the above-mentioned advice, quality time is necessary. And, ironically, this quality time is inversely proportional to the rush that characterises our daily lives.

When we talk about spending quality time with our children, we don't mean spending 15 hours a day at their side, while we telework, watch TV or check social networks. It means spending as much time as we can, away from any external distraction that prevents us from enjoying our little one: telling stories, practising active listening with them (paying attention to the important things they have to tell us), playing with them, making crafts together or, in short, carrying out any activity that implies that all our attention is focused on our child's education and life.

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